Mean Reviews

You know, I could really just say fuck it and change this site over to a celebrity genital blog.

But I won’t.

From The Superficial:

“A former spa worker is claiming that Kevin Costner exposed himself and performed a sex act as she gave him a massage at the Old Course Hotel in Fife, Scotland, in October of 2004. Costner isn’t going to face any charges or anything, he just happened to be mentioned in this woman’s claim against the hotel that fired her. “

Here’s the part where I write stupid things:

3000 miles to don’t show me your penisland.

Wangerworld

The Dongman

Field of Hey Watch Me Jerk Off

Ok, I’m done.

Katharine McPhee tried to show us her bidness, Taylor has completely stopped twitching, and Paris sings songs my grandmother was too cool for. Also, no less than 4 songs from the soundtracks of bad movies…2 of them directed by Jerry Zucker! They are: Ghost, The Bodyguard, Naked Gun 2 1/2, and Don Juan De Marco. Who picks this shit?

Holy fuck, could that have been worse? Seriously. I have heard dogs bark jingle bells better than that.

So Taylor isn’t twitching at all anymore. I guess that was all affected, huh? This guy sucks.

Hey, my dead grandmother called and said that song choice was a bit old for her and she was born before Oklahoma was a state.

I’m not a dyke but, let’s face it, I’d rather look at this girl’s vagina than hear her sing. Thanks for showing me your ugly yellow panties in 1080i.

This person is good. What is he doing on this show? Quit!

Oh god. Not Bryan Adams from a movie soundtrack. Worst taste ever.

Bottom 3:

The Toenail in our 5$ Milkshake:

Ok it’s not a Nip Slip and it’s not really her kitty, it’s just some matching yellow panties, but it’s funny as shit. Yes, I’m sure that’s not poon, you could see her panty lines if you had HD. It was nasty.
That dress was as bad as her version of the song. When is this bitch going to realize that she’s just not good enough for the songs she picks?

…just not other people’s.

While other blogs are printing Angie’s douchy press release, Mean Reviews would like you to know that the Namibian government has, at the request of Brangelina, started deporting journalists and photographers who are ‘harassing’ the couple.

There are also reports that potential photographers and journalists with valid visas are being turned away at the Namibian border and being denied bording passes on flights to Namibia.

The National Society For Human Rights (Namibia’s primary Human Rights monitoring organization) has condemned the deportation. Here are some choice bits:

We strongly repudiate this unprecedented and blatant violation of the constitutionally guaranteed freedom of speech and expression, which includes freedom of the press and other media.

The presence of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt in Namibia does not elicit any concern for national security and so on, such that the deportation of reporters could have any lawful or constitutional basis. If anything such deportation in this fashion constitutes a very grave embarrassment and threatens to bring Namibia’s democratic status into serious question.

Moreover, filming the couple that is roaming around visiting several public places could hardly constitute any harassment or interference with their privacy. After all, we are reliably informed that the couple has hired a foreign-based TV crew to film its activities in Namibia. Does this so-called harassment not amount merely to who has or who should have the exclusive right to film this celebrity couple? It looks like huge money making enterprise here. The deportation decision constitutes arbitrary and discriminatory interference with press freedoms, because while some local and or foreign journalists are prevented from doing their work under the threat of deportation or arrest merely in order to secure the lavish and aristocratic desires of a prominent couple to have privacy, others are allowed.

Take that Brangelina! Even Namibia knows that you are completely full of shit.
Photo from JustJared.

posted by the mean girl