Mean Reviews

Someone fell of the anime tree and hit every branch on the way down.

Yes, Tom Cruise, no one likes you! From Box Office Mojo:

Mission: Impossible III detonated with an estimated $48 million, below such other recent spy pictures as The Bourne Supremacy and Mr. & Mrs. Smith. At 4,054 theaters, the $150 million action spectacle had the fourth widest launch ever but did not achieve a commensurate height in box office, trailing its predecessors by a wide margin in terms of attendance.

That’s what you get for being so fuckin’ creepy! Also, from Dlisted, a picture of Katie Holmes showing off a nursing bra:

Tom: Pull your shirt over more so they can get a shot of it.

Katie: This is embarassing. I already look like hell, don’t you think that’s evidence enough that I’ve given birth? My thighs are twice as big as yours, it’s depressing. Why do we need to go to these lengths?
Tom: Shut up or it’s two more hours on the treadmill and 16 more boxes of ho-hos for you. You have to look fat and exhausted or I’m giving the 25 million to Scarlett Johannson and telling the media that you got herpes from that American Pie guy.
Katie: Nooooooo. Mommy wants Valtrex and Manolos.
Tom: By the way, tell that bitch who is typing this that your name is Kate now. As in, my plane–the “Kiss me, Kate.” You fuck with me and the plane is going to be called the “Kiss Me, Kate (But Only When You’re Not Outbreakin’).” You don’t know the history of aviation.
Kate: I love cupcakes.

ExtraMean: I can’t believe that Superman trailer is a preview of the actual movie. It looks like a parody

TheMeanGirl: I know.

TheMeanGirl: It looks terrible.

ExtraMean: the its a bird its a plane shit was  awful

TheMeanGirl: I know.

ExtraMean: and spacey is somehow gayer than superman himself. Not that there is anything wrong with that.

TheMeanGirl: I know!

TheMeanGirl: Kevin Spacey is gayer than butt sex at the Rose Parade.

ExtraMean: Think if they would have made that Superman vs. Batman movie instead of separate films

ExtraMean: Poor Christian Bale would be pregnant now

TheMeanGirl: And Katie Holmes still wouldn’t be.

ExtraMean: hahahahaha

Hey! Pickler finally fell off that cruise ship that we call American Idol.

Anyone taking bets on how long before she’s found in someone’s trunk?

“Hey, where’s the candy? I thought you said you had candy! What? Hey is that gun? Wow, hey it’s really dark inside the little hole at the end—”

Ok it’s not a Nip Slip and it’s not really her kitty, it’s just some matching yellow panties, but it’s funny as shit. Yes, I’m sure that’s not poon, you could see her panty lines if you had HD. It was nasty.
That dress was as bad as her version of the song. When is this bitch going to realize that she’s just not good enough for the songs she picks?

…just not other people’s.

While other blogs are printing Angie’s douchy press release, Mean Reviews would like you to know that the Namibian government has, at the request of Brangelina, started deporting journalists and photographers who are ‘harassing’ the couple.

There are also reports that potential photographers and journalists with valid visas are being turned away at the Namibian border and being denied bording passes on flights to Namibia.

The National Society For Human Rights (Namibia’s primary Human Rights monitoring organization) has condemned the deportation. Here are some choice bits:

We strongly repudiate this unprecedented and blatant violation of the constitutionally guaranteed freedom of speech and expression, which includes freedom of the press and other media.

The presence of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt in Namibia does not elicit any concern for national security and so on, such that the deportation of reporters could have any lawful or constitutional basis. If anything such deportation in this fashion constitutes a very grave embarrassment and threatens to bring Namibia’s democratic status into serious question.

Moreover, filming the couple that is roaming around visiting several public places could hardly constitute any harassment or interference with their privacy. After all, we are reliably informed that the couple has hired a foreign-based TV crew to film its activities in Namibia. Does this so-called harassment not amount merely to who has or who should have the exclusive right to film this celebrity couple? It looks like huge money making enterprise here. The deportation decision constitutes arbitrary and discriminatory interference with press freedoms, because while some local and or foreign journalists are prevented from doing their work under the threat of deportation or arrest merely in order to secure the lavish and aristocratic desires of a prominent couple to have privacy, others are allowed.

Take that Brangelina! Even Namibia knows that you are completely full of shit.
Photo from JustJared.

posted by the mean girl

I could recaulk my tub with those things. Ugh. Here are more.

As if I wasn’t sick of the ‘Got Milk?’ campaign already, here’s the new Superman one.

This isn’t really news, I just wanted to draw all over it to piss off fanboys.

The new Superman is going to suck. Also, it’ll be a bad movie.

Posted in Ugly Pictures of Famous People, Whatever | 39 Comments »